


If forever does exist, please let it be you.

by chloeedecker



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Chloe Needs a Hug too, Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, F/M, Lucifer Needs a Hug, SO, Self-Esteem Issues, Trixie Espinoza & Lucifer Morningstar Friendship, but - Freeform, love that for them, they fight, they gotta work through their issues, they love each other a whole freaking lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:28:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28217736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chloeedecker/pseuds/chloeedecker
Summary: They had fought before. Quick banter and snarky comments both a language they understood well, but this was different.This was explosive, a culmination of pent-up anger and insecurities flying out in heated words and biting accusations that neither of them had really meant.Lucifer leaves after a particularly nasty retort from Chloe, and she is left to wonder how she could let herself sabotage the one thing she wanted more than anything.
Relationships: Chloe Decker & Lucifer Morningstar, Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Comments: 19
Kudos: 180





	If forever does exist, please let it be you.

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome! Nothing like a little angsty fighting (with a happy ending) to get you through the day, enjoy!!

They had fought before. Quick banter and snarky comments both a language they understood well, but this was different. 

This was explosive, a culmination of pent-up anger and insecurities flying out in heated words and biting accusations that neither of them had really meant. 

She was scared he could never really commit to the life that they were building together. He was angry that after everything they had been through she still doubted that he meant it when he said he was all in. 

After tossing out a particularly nasty retort, Chloe watched as the man in front of her seemed to lose any fight that he had left. Lucifer’s shoulder sank, his whole demeanor shifting into one of defeat, and Chloe could have sworn she saw a few tears gather in the corners of his eyes. 

She knew she had gone too far the moment she felt the words fall out of her mouth, and watching the way his face seemed to crumble only solidified it. She pushed out an _I’m sorry_ as quickly as she could, but it was too late. 

Chloe felt her own fight leave her as she watched the man in front of her slowly put pieces of his armor back into place. A hand smoothed a crease out of his suit jacket, and his shoulders rolled back as he stood at his full height again.

She watched the hurt on his face give way to apathy and indifference that somehow seemed to slice right through her chest, and she could feel tears gathering in her own eyes as she watched him nod once and walk out the front door. 

Trixie was with Dan tonight and Maze had left a few days ago with a weekend bag slung over her shoulder and a promise of being careful as she hurried out, so the house was eerily quiet after the door shut behind Lucifer. 

Chloe stood still for a while, before her legs carried her mindlessly over to the couch, picking up the wine glass she had abandoned earlier in the night. Back when things had still been simple and her head had been pillowed on Lucifer’s chest, an arm slung heavily over her shoulders and a silly movie playing that neither were really paying attention to. 

Moments like that, quiet and intimate, were her favorite with him, and her chest tightened at the thought that she might have just ruined it all.

The fight had been her fault, and she knew it. 

It had all started a few weeks prior- a case with a wedding planner bringing up the topic of lifelong commitment far more than normal. Lucifer had made a few snide remarks commenting on the absolute travesty of the institution of marriage, laughing off the mention of marriage every chance he could. 

Since then, her own insecurity and doubt had waged a war in her mind, wondering if there was any point to being with Lucifer if it was inevitable that it would end in heartbreak for her when he decided he was no longer interested. 

They’d been together for eight months- had cared for each other much longer than that, but for some reason his comments had found a home deep inside her mind, calling into question her ability to keep him around. 

Years ago, she would have laughed away any mention of desired commitment on her part when it came to Lucifer, but these days were another story. 

When she came home from tough days at work, all she wanted was to come home to her daughter, curl up next to him, and listen to the way he expertly pulled out information about Trixie’s day. Nothing was better than that, two of her favorite people enthralled in conversation about whatever drama was filling the elementary school halls that week.

Even on the good days, she wanted him by her side, and when she thought about any plans for the future, one of the most common threads was him right next to her. 

It scared her, the deep longing and need she felt when it came to him. His track record with commitment before her was nonexistent, a fact that lingered whenever she let her mind wander. 

That’s what their fight had been about tonight, and she sat on the couch for hours replaying the words she had flung across the space between them. 

_More like accusations_ , her brain supplied as an afterthought. 

Time seemed to pass around her, and she spent the next few hours willing herself to move. To grab her keys and walk out the door and make the drive to Lux. To apologize and make things right between the two of them, however long it took. 

The look in his eyes before he left had broken her, and she felt neither worthy nor prepared to deal with the consequences of her actions. 

It overwhelmed her sometimes, just how much control she had over one of the most powerful beings to ever live. It was unfair, really, just how easily she could snuff the light out of his eyes or wipe the grin off his face.

She supposed he had the same impact on her, but she had a lifetime experience with human emotions that gave her an upperhand at dealing with and predicting the world around her. 

She drifted in and out of light sleep, her anxious body never really able to find rest as her thoughts raced through the reality of the situation she had created for herself. Her mind combed through the memories of their time together, both before and after they were actually _together_ , marveling in the ways they had both changed since they first met. 

It was clear to her then, the ways that Lucifer has been proving his loyalty to her from the start. 

In the beginning he had her back when no one else did, a trivial thing that had secretly meant the world to her. The Palmetto case had come after that, and her mind flashed through memories of him bleeding out on the warehouse floor. 

Flashing forward, she remembered their first kiss on the beach. The speech he had given and the sincerity she had heard in his voice as he tried to convince her that he would never be worth her time. 

Then she had almost died, and he had quite literally gone to hell and back to save her life- a journey he swore he would have never willingly taken after leaving. 

A pained laugh pushed out of her chest at the realization that this man she accused of lacking commitment had not only done that once, but twice. Faced the thing he loathed the most. 

For her. 

She was scared, sure, but Lucifer had never given her a reason to doubt him, and though she hadn’t always believed his stories, it was true that he had never lied to her. 

She got up quickly as the realization washed over her in waves, grabbing her keys and jacket and walking quickly towards her car, everything else forgotten as she made her way through the city until she pulled into the private garage under Lux. 

It was late, nearing three in the morning by the time she shut off her car, knuckles white from the grip she had been holding on her steering wheel. Getting out quickly, she walked the few steps to the elevator, tapping her keys against her leg to keep herself busy as she waited. 

When the doors opened in front of her, she hurried in and pressed the button that would carry her up to Lux. She figured she would check there first, though deep in her heart she hoped that Lucifer wasn’t drowning his sorrows in drinks and the mouths of willing women. 

They hadn’t broken up, hadn’t had enough of a conversation to really know anything about where they stood, but Chloe knew Lucifer well enough to know that jumping to conclusions was a strong suit of his. 

Time stretched out, and when the doors opened she was greeted with a low murmur from the few people still left in the space in front of her. 

Lux was ultimately empty, save a few workers and bartenders that looked up when she stepped off the elevator. They all knew her, had been around long enough to know that she was always welcome, and one of the servers pointed up towards the ceiling before giving her a sad smile and picking up some empty glasses and wiping at a sticky table. 

She got the message clearly, turning around and walking back into the elevator as quick as she could without seeming desperate in front of the eyes she knew were on her back. 

If the sad look on the server’s face had been anything to go by, she knew she would find Lucifer hurting just as much as she was. The elevator slowed, and she steeled herself as the doors slid open and the penthouse came into view. 

It was dark, most of the lights off except for the chandelier that hung from the ceiling, and she felt a warm breeze hit her skin that let her know the doors to the balcony were open. Walking quietly, she placed her keys and jacket on the piano before slipping outside.

Lucifer was leaning against the glass railing, his suit jacket forgotten somewhere and his broad shoulder on display. He was silhouetted against the LA skyline, and if the circumstances were different she would have taken a few more moments to appreciate it. 

She watched his shoulders tense, a clear sign that he knew she was there, and a fresh wave of insecurity ran through her. 

“Hi, Lucifer,” she spoke quietly, hoping that her words were soft enough to let him know she wasn’t there to continue their fight. 

The drop of his head to look down into his glass was the only tell that he had heard what she said, and Chloe found that it deepened the cracks in her chest just a little more. 

For all his faults, he didn’t deserve for anyone to make him feel like this- like he would never be good enough no matter how hard he tried. 

Lucifer pushed off the balcony, standing up to his full height before turning to face her, letting out a deep breath he had obviously been holding in. 

He had spent the time since he left her apartment wondering how in the world he would ever be able to get over this, over her, if it really were to end. He had spent so long convincing himself he didn’t want more with Chloe, but now that he had it he knew he would never want anything as much as he wanted to be with her.

He had hoped his actions would speak louder than words ever could, though clearly he had been wrong about that. 

He had millenia of life lived, and he was sure that he would trade all of the time in the world for the last eight months he had spent calling the Detective his. She had given him purpose, a will to live for something other than himself, and in return he knew he was trying to give her all he had. 

You’ve gone soft, Amenadiel had said to him years ago, when he first met the Detective. It had bothered him then, but now, if being domestic meant he got to see the sides of Chloe that only came out in the safety of comfort of her home he had no qualms about it. 

He had even invested so much time into his relationship with Beatrice, trying in earnest to be someone in her life that she could count on. It might have started as a ploy to get in her mother’s good graces, but now their relationship was almost as sacred to him as the one he shared with Chloe. 

But it seemed that wasn’t enough from her, if her statements from earlier in the night held any truth.

Facing her now he took in the bags under her eyes and the way her blue eyes shone a little brighter. Just like they always did after she had been crying.

His body itched with the need to reach out and pull her into his chest, an act that always seemed to make her smile when she was upset, and his mind filled with the memory of the first time he had held her while she cried. 

That had been a simpler time, standing in her kitchen after he had told her that her father would be proud of her, and though he preferred the way their partnership had evolved into more, the innocence of that moment was something he’d never let go of. 

He waited for Chloe to speak, looking at her with expectant eyes that also held a plea to not hurt him more than she already had. 

“I’m sorry,” she said simply, the words coming out timid and shaky. She squinted her eyes and pursed her lips, a telltale sign that she was trying to carefully choose the words that were to follow. “I was afraid. I _am_ afraid.”

“Afraid of _me_?” he asked quickly. The ever present fear that she would one day wake up and decide that being with the literal Devil was something that she wasn’t okay was quickly rising to the surface, and she could see it in the way his eyes filled with panic.

She took a step forward, an unsure hand coming to rest against his arm in hopes of calming him down even the slightest bit, and when her hand made contact she could feel the slight tremble in his body. 

“Lucifer, no.” Her words were firm now, wanting to make sure there was no room for miscommunication when it came to this. “You have to know that meeting you, _being_ with you, has been one of the best things that has ever happened to me.”

If that declaration left her mouth at any other time, she knew that he would contest that he was _the_ best thing that ever happened to her, but instead she was met with silence and searching eyes- so she pushed on.

“Even after all the time we’ve had together, it’s still hard for me to wrap my head around the idea that you could ever want to be with me,” she pushed out, and when she saw he was about to object she held up a hand to stop him. “When I say be with me, I mean be with me for the long haul, when things stop being new and fun and exciting and all that’s left is me, Chloe Decker the single mom with a dangerous job.”

“When you made all those comments a few weeks ago during the wedding planner case, I got the idea that you could never see yourself as the type to settle down with one person,” she elaborated.

She stopped then, looking up at the man in front of her and seeing the gears turning in his head before he opened his mouth to speak.

“Am I allowed to speak now?” 

His face had softened, his hand reaching up to twine through the one that she had placed on his arm, and waited for her to nod before continuing. 

“I’ve lived through eons of history, all of them proving to me that marriage is a sham and absolutely a ploy to get people to spend extravagant amounts of money,” he responded, holding up a hand of his own when he saw panic flash through Chloe’s eyes. “I do not see how a piece of paper could ever adequately describe the way I feel when I am with you.”

All of the breath she had been holding in left her then, weeks of confusion and hurt falling slowly from her tense body. 

“Commitment means something different to me than it does to you humans, I’ve come to realize,” he stated simply, squeezing her hand that he held in his own. “I am sorry if I have let you believe I don’t reciprocate your sentiments.”

“No, Lucifer-” she started, but was interrupted once again. 

“My turn still, Detective,” he said with a soft smile, the first she had seen all night. “If I have not been clear enough let me tell you once again what _I_ truly desire. You know I have never lied to you, so please believe me when I say this, I want to be with you, Chloe, for as long as you will allow me to continue being at your side, and I will do anything and everything in my power to make sure we have all the time together we could ever want.”

Lucifer finally allowed himself to reach out and touch her, bringing up a gentle hand to swipe at the tear that had fallen down Chloe’s cheek. Moving his hand further, he tucked a loose strand of golden hair behind her ear before letting his palm rest against her cheek.

Chloe leaned into Lucifers’s hand, letting herself seek comfort from the only person who seemed to be able to give it to her like this. Being with Lucifer always made her feel safe, and in this moment she wondered how she had ever thought he wanted anything different than she did. 

She moved her own hand to cover his, eyes closing as she stepped in closer to him. He moved in too, and she felt, more than heard, the next words that fell from his mouth. 

“I want a lifetime with you, whatever that means.”

She surged up then and when their lips touched it felt a whole lot like coming home. The feelings of comfort and safety she had felt moments ago multiplied exponentially, and she moved her hands to hold both sides of his face, pulling him in even closer. 

They stood still for a second, his lips returning to gentle pressure before pulling away, resting his forehead against hers. 

Chloe shook herself for almost ruining this, frustrated that she could ever have thought anything but the world of the man in front of her. A chorus of _I’m sorry’s_ fell from her mouth and filled the space between them, and Chloe let herself sink back down on her heels to rest her head against the sturdy chest in front of her. 

“I missed you,” she whispered into the wrinkled fabric under her lips, feeling his chest vibrate as he chuckled at her words. 

“It’s only been a few hours,” he replied, letting one of his hands come up to gently cradle her head and hold her closer. 

They both still felt fragile, knowing they needed time to get over the events of the last few hours. 

For Chloe to prove to him that she had more faith in him than anything else, for both of them to convince themselves this wasn’t some dream that they were going to wake from. But here now, together, they both felt the same sense of peace that only ever seemed to come in the presence of each other. 

Feeling Chloe’s breath start to even out, he pulled her through the penthouse and into his bedroom, quickly pulling out a shirt for her that she slipped into as he stripped from his suit and slid in between silky sheets.

The space had seen some of their greatest moments, and as she slid into bed and scooted over towards him, he rejoiced in the way her body seemed to fit perfectly with his. With her back flush to his front, she reached for his arm and pulled it to rest against her stomach, burrowing back even further into him.

He had spent lifetimes wishing for someone to truly know him, flaws and all, and love him anyways- had longed for that more than anything during his time in hell. 

With Chloe he found so much more than he could have ever imagined, the depth of his feelings for her unlike anything he had ever experienced before. It was terrifying, but if it meant he was afforded the feel of her head on his chest, drawing comfort from him she couldn’t get anywhere else, he would gladly deal with the fear. 

With one last kiss to the top of her head, he whispered, “I missed you, too,” and revelled in the way he felt her arm tighten around his before they both let sleep drag them under.

**Author's Note:**

> Once I started writing Lucifer and Chloe I just couldn't stop, hope you enjoyed!! :)


End file.
